If you’re a control freak, you probably like to organize your life around creating systems and routines that make you feel like you’re in control. While this strategy might be effective for managing stress and anxiety, it can’t always promise happiness or satisfaction. No matter how tightly you hold onto your daily routine, you can always count on curveballs that will try to knock you off course.
Especially for control freaks, being thrown off routine is dysregulating because there’s absolutely nothing you can do to guarantee your desired outcome. Thus, in the face of such adversity, what can you do?
As a fellow control freak myself, this is something I work through daily. Here are five things I am constantly having to remind myself of to regulate my impulsive need to control my circumstances.
5 things to let go of right now:
● Taking others’ actions and decisions personally
● Managing how others think or feel about you
● Needing to be “perfect”
● Performing inauthentically to earn the favor of others
● Waiting for the “right” time to act
“Surrendering doesn’t mean giving up—it means giving your energy to what’s within your control. It means reacting in ways that support your growth when life unfolds in unexpected ways. Adjusting in a positive way to unexpected events in our lives means being flexible, maintaining a sense of humor, and retaining our certainty that life is happening FOR us, not TO us. Our life is unfolding—just as it should.
It is within our power to create our lives as we wish them to be. We get to decide how we frame our experiences. We get to decide how we feel, and we control our responses.” – Monica Berg, spiritual thought leader and author
Affirmations for letting go:
- The strongest don’t survive, the most adaptable do
- I can experience triggers without reacting to them
- I accept all of my emotions, but choose to focus on joy
- I am the architect of my life, I build its foundation and choose its contents
- I choose which thoughts and emotions to feed
- I am stronger than my fear
- I accept and welcome change
- I can let go of any emotion I want to
- What is meant for me will find me
- My time and attention are precious
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