Are you the type of person who others can always count on to show up, but not necessarily be in a good mood? Do you ever catch yourself sulking, snapping at people (or wanting to) seemingly for no reason? Those days where you can just feel your fuse burning shorter and shorter by the minute, and you’re counting down the time until you’ll need to excuse yourself from the new year’s festivities…

Often these teachable moments can show us a lot about our (lack of) boundaries, and open our eyes to some necessary adjustments that could really help improve the quality of our relationships.

An example that’s prominent in my own life that I’m working on in the new year is about over-committing.

Often when interacting, I’ll agree to future plans with the intention of carrying the vibe I’m experiencing in that moment. When it comes time to execute the plans I’ve made, I feel resentful towards the people I’ve made plans with and agitated with myself for not having thought it through before confirming my RSVP.

My advice: trust your gut. If your instincts tell you no, don’t feel bad about turning it down. Don’t take on responsibility for letting the person down – just say no. Protect your energy and space as needed, and don’t apologize for it.

My current struggle is in implementing these boundaries.

One thing I find helpful when I’m struggling to implement boundaries is knowing what my center focus looks like and how to get back there from any unfamiliar space I might find myself in. Visualization is helpful for this! For the first time ever this year, I made a vision board :). Comment below if you want to learn more about how it’s helping me view a macro, high-level view of what I want my life to look like in the next year.

Another helpful tip is to utilize a decision-making criteria so you can make more intuitive decisions in the moment. Get out the lists you’ve made for your values, goals, purpose, etc. – anything that keeps you in alignment with who you are – and when faced with making a tough decision, ask yourself if the opportunity would be serving the things on those lists or not. 

How do you enforce boundaries in your life to make sure you can’t be thrown off-balance?