Becoming a mom has come with a steep learning curve.

Pre-baby, I went about my days pretty fluidly, just seeing where life wanted to take me. Mastering self-discipline has always been a process for me; one that’s ultra-highlighted now that there’s a little human watching everything I do. Every emotion, reaction, and communication tactic I model, he mimics. It’s like holding up a mirror to my inner child in real time. Learning to be a parent, in truth, really means learning to parent yourself.

Now that I’m almost 18 months in, I’ve been able to spot a few blind spots. I want to share these with any first-time moms-to-be who (like I did) think they have it all figured out already.

Tip #1- Don’t buy too much.

I received this first piece of advice from a dear friend of mine while putting my registry together:

Don’t buy everything mainstream media tells you to.

Really look at how your home is set up, the furniture you already have, and the space you have to work with to decide what you will and won’t need.

Some examples:

• Do you really need to purchase a whole table for changing diapers? Instead, look for a piece of furniture you can clear off, like a dresser or another storage console.
• TOYS! At this point, we’ve spent ridiculous amounts of money on all these cute toys we thought Hiro would love. But in reality, he only plays with about 40-50% of them. Most of the time he’s rummaging through our cabinets finding other things he prefers to play with instead, like drawer organizers, kitchen mixing bowls, plastic cups, and baon tupperware… All of which cost us $0. Not only are they perfectly safe for him to play with, but they keep him entertained for literally hours. This also saves money in storage costs. Instead of having to purchase baskets, a toy chest, etc., we cleared out and dedicated a cabinet in the kitchen to all the things he likes to play with. This also makes clean-up time especially easier than tracking down and returning toys to their rightful homes.

Tip #2- Don’t buy based on aesthetics, go for functionality!

I can’t tell you how hard this lesson was for me to finally accept. 

From the moment I found out I was pregnant I became obsessed with designing the perfect nursery on Pinterest. I grew incredibly attached to bringing my ideas to fruition once we moved to our new home. It was a new space with free range for decorating! I bought up everything I saw on social media the mom bloggers I admired endorsed, making sure everything was on brand for the theme I was going for.

After Hiro got here I realized half the shit I had bought was purely aesthetic and proved not useful at all, only taking up more unnecessary space. Our nice, open-format home looked like a tornado from Toys R’Us had hit. I couldn’t start getting rid of things fast enough. As I began to purge, I was disgusted with how much money we had wasted on things that not only weren’t functional, but required us to spend more money on alternatives that were.

Pro tip- always read and honor the reviews! Don’t get distracted by appearances.

Tip #3- Get on top of your daily routine.

As I mentioned earlier, I’ve always been pretty lax about disciplining myself. I woke up when I needed to and went to sleep when I wanted to, and was used to having agency over my time in between. This lackadaisical approach has caused me much turmoil and prolonged the process of me getting my shit together over the years.

I promise, getting strict about your time management before your baby arrives will make a *world* of difference. You can design your routine any way you want. At the very least, master the same set of actions when you wake up and before you go to bed. Humans thrive on consistency. Not just your baby- you will too.

My biggest piece of advice about motherhood to date is this:

Be ready to adapt.

At every age and every stage, LIVE by this school of thought.

I’ve learned these lessons hard way so you don’t have to. Are you expecting your first baby now or a new mom? What are some ideas you had that have blown up in your face?

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