Desire is an essential part of human nature. Therefore, it’s best we accept the real estate it occupies in our minds and hearts. Instead of trying to fight it, learning more about the different types of desire we need to tend to is a proactive way to satisfy ourselves before we feel the need to act on impulse.
In a book I read called Emotional Grit by Dr. Neeta Bhushan, I learned about the six different types of desire we all need to feel in order to feel fulfilled.
The six different types of desire every human is looking to fulfill:
- Certainty. This need speaks to the lower parts of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs; safety, security, comfort, and consistency. Before we solidify our need for certainty, it’s difficult to focus on others. Unfortunately much of life’s circumstances are not within our control, making this a tough foundation to build in absence of the positive influence of healthy adults from our upbringing.
- Variety. This need speaks to finding pleasure through spontaneity, experiencing new things, the element of surprise, discovery, or toying with a new hobby.
- Love/connection. No matter what your M.O. is, everyone wants to feel like they serve a purpose in someone else’s life. For some, this runs deeper than others. However, regardless of the depth or quality of connection, finding family through relationships is essential to all human desire.
- Significance. Everyone wants to feel distinct, important, and purposeful. The need for significance speaks to the human ego- something no one is exempt to. Therefore, we need to understand what sets us apart from others and be recognized for the parts of us that stray from basic.
- Growth. I don’t care if you have a master’s degree or are still working on your GED. Every human needs to feed their intelligence and grow by learning new things. The beauty of this desire is that what you want to learn about is entirely up to you.
- Contribution. If you’re breathing right now, you are going to leave a legacy behind when your time on earth is up. Think about how you spend your time. Are your days filled with intention for the lasting impact you want to have on the world when you’re gone? Or are you simply just going through the motions of life? How can you use your unique gifts, talents, abilities, access, and resources to make a mindful contribution to causes you care about after you die?
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