I’ll open by saying that as I start to write this, I’m getting ready to meet with my own therapist in about 30 minutes. I’ve learned the hard way it pays to prepare for these meetings, as can tend to be psychologically laborious. I consider sessions with my therapist a workout for my mind and heart.

While I admit, it can feel good just to finally have a safe space to unload during these discussions, it’s equally as important to reflect in between sessions too, so you can bring any thoughts or questions that come up to your next meeting to ensure you’re making the best use of your therapist’s time. Providing context beyond what you share with them face-to-face is an essential component of any successful therapy breakthrough, not to mention the doctor/patient relationship.

The reflection piece is not only for your therapist, it’s also for you. Their job is not to do your inner work for you, but to guide you through doing it yourself. This requires some initiative on your part to prime your mental and physical environment for safety, as things that come up in therapy can often be triggering. You need to be in the right headspace to tackle these complex (and oftentimes ugly) topics in order to recognize unresolved trauma, conflict themes, or behavior patterns you want help further exploring.

Here are 5 things I like to do before therapy:

1) Eat.

Idk about you, but it’s impossible for me to concentrate on anything when I’m hungry. Hungry for me = hangry… that’s never the energy you want to bring to a conversation with your therapist. 🙅🏻‍♀️

2) Eliminate all distractions.

Turn the TV off. Finish any work or action items for the day. Put the wine away. Empty your bladder. Change out of any uncomfortable clothes. For the mamas out there, send the kids out with your partner or another friend/family member so you know nobody will be barging in on you during your session.

You want it as quiet as possible- both physically and psychologically. You don’t want anything to be able to distract you from letting your full guard down. For instance, it would be hard to get completely vulnerable with your therapist calling in from a busy cafe or on an Uber ride due to all the noise and commotion going on in the background. You want to schedule your sessions for when you know you’ll have some peace, quiet, and private time.

3) Do a self-check-in.

This can be a quick brain dump in your journal (bullet point journaling is fine) to capture what’s on your mind and prepare how you want to present your findings to your therapist. Or it can mean a guided meditation that helps you get into the zone of deep reflection.

4) Prepare meeting materials.

Supplies might include a notebook to jot down notes (this can be physical, digital, or the app on your phone), a cup of mildly hot tea, a hair tie (having your hair out of your face helps you focus), a charger so my laptop doesn’t die, and the coziest socks and throw blanket I can find.

5) Get comfy.

Next, it’s time to get settled on the couch, your bed, meditation or self-care station you’ve curated, or wherever else in your home you feel most at ease.

What about after my session?

After your session is over, don’t slam your laptop closed and dart off to your next plans. Take a moment to digest the conversation you just had and write down any lingering thoughts.

Basically, whenever you schedule your sessions for, be prepared to block out a few hours around the meeting time for your self-care ritual.

Do you have a pre-therapy practice that helps you make the most of your time with your therapist? Comment below your tips on how to best prepare!