From what I’ve heard, many people are turned off by the idea of reciting corny statements to themselves in the mirror. However, this is only one way to act out daily affirmations. I too fell in the category of writing off affirmations as cheesy and performative, until I read Quincy Jones’ book, 12 Notes On Life & Creativity. In it, the godfather of Black creative excellence explains how the art of daily affirmations is essential to root yourself in a firm belief system from which you can manifest personal success. Ever since I finished the book, I’ve been experimenting with different ways to practice self-affirmation that don’t feel forced or contrived.

Alternative ways to practice daily affirmations:

• Write them down in an index card book
• Type them out in a Trello board list (or any other personal organization app you prefer)
• Use an affirmations app
• Write them on post-it notes and stick them on your bathroom mirror (or if you prefer somewhere more private, try a wall in your closet)
• Record them via voice memo and listen to them with headphones in the mornings

Customize your affirmations

Ok. Now you have some alternative solutions for how to practice daily affirmations, but what should you do to come up with statements that are actually affirming? In 12 Notes, Jones details that the power of self-affirmation comes from “verbalizing and affirming the person you want to be, in tandem with the language of the character you already demonstrate.”

To start, you want to use positive language only. The hard part is that they actually have to ring true to your current belief system. Here are some examples on how you can adjust common affirmations to statements you actually believe:

• Instead of “I am capable of achieving ______,” try “I am capable of taking this one step at a time.”
• Instead of “I am beautiful,” try “I have beautiful (insert one part of your appearance you like; eyes, ears, toes, boobs, butt, etc.).”

If your statements are generic and/or don’t strike an authentic chord for you, you’re likely to roll your eyes and lose trust in the entire exercise. Thus, it’s crucial you tweak your statements for accuracy. Instead of forcing something you don’t truly feel about yourself, inch your way backward to something that does feel affirmative. The idea is that once you affirm a positive statement you actually believe, you encourage your mind to open to the possibility of further developing it and therefore ground it into the foundation of your character. This can be especially difficult if you struggle with negative self-talk. When you talk down to yourself, about yourself, your external circumstances tend to reflect that negativity. By constantly affirming your shortcomings, you manifest those beliefs as your reality. In order to redesign the reality of your circumstance, you have to change the way you talk to yourself. As one of my favorite pastors says, “The power of both life and death is in your tongue.”

Still don’t know where to start? Let me help you out.

Here are 17 affirmations to redesign your reality:

1. My happiness is mine to manifest through my thoughts, actions, and beliefs.
2. What is meant for me will find me.
3. I can let go of any emotion I want to.
4. I improve the quality of my life by improving the quality of my thoughts.
5. I am stronger than my fear.
6. I use my mistakes as stepping stones.
7. I am mindful of how much I have to be grateful for.
8. I can experience triggers without reacting to them.
9. I accept all of my emotions, but choose to focus on joy.
10. I give myself a timeline for decisions so I can let go of what’s worrying me.
11. I honor the commitments I make to myself.
12. I make decisions I can be proud of that allow me to operate with a clear conscience.
13. I respect myself enough to walk away from anything that doesn’t serve me, grow me, or make me happy.
14. I act from integrity, not emotion.
15. I am thankful for who I was, who I am, and who I am becoming.
16. No matter how I feel about my life today, I’m grateful I still have one.
17. Today is the beginning of whatever I want.

Want more?

Comment below or use the contact page to send me a message letting me know what aspects of self-talk you struggle with so I can make some personal recommendations for you.